advergirl

Hard times, new sentiments: Notecards for a broken economy

None of us has gone untouched by this recession. The tension at work. The precipitous drop in our 401ks. The sad phone calls (by us or) from friends who have lost a client, a job, a house. 

It's brutal out there.

There's plenty to keep us up nights.

And lots of awkward new interactions that seem to call for more grace than most of us can muster under this kind of stress.

Perhaps it's time for a new greeting card series. Hell, we haven't really had one of those since Sweethearts Day sap and pet sympathy cards hit the scene.

What about it? A glib line of sentiments for a broken economy? My nominations:

 

 

Hard times, new segments: Divorce advertising?

The whole world loves a bride. She's showered with magazines, catalogs, glossy mailers. Invited to websites, trunk shows, entire conventions of other betrotheds. Asked to register for every lovely thing a household could need - from a pour-for-the-Cure pink Brita to no fewer than a dozen monogrammed bath sheets.

Let the marketing dollars flow.

But what about all those brides who are wives no more? The husband hunting for a re-bachelor pad? Those once-couples for whom happily-ever-after has run amok?

With over half of American marriages ending in divorce, perhaps there's a niche of household spending that we - America's Ad-mad Advertisers - have missed.

Afterall, if all this money is spent convincing a young bride to feather her nest with only the best, what is she to do when half of it is boxed up and trucked out by her now ex? Ug.

Imagine it - hundreds of thousands of people faced with replacing their cookware, comforters and tea cozies. And needing to do it in a hurry. To get back to normal FAST.

Perhaps this is the segment for hard times. In an economy where spending is stalled. Where relationships are rocky. Let's make it easy for those who have to spend. Let's keep them off futons and bean bags. Offer them deals on thread count and leather. No take out and chopsticks. No, wounded one, we will bring you steamers and stainless steel forks.

The possibilities are endless. Just consider these two entirely fictional mood boards for some of our favorite go-to domestic destinations:

 

Hard times call for a little snark

Friends, readers, I hope you'll indulge me. This economy - with all its genuinely bad news and insidious uncertainty - has left me in a funk. I see no other way to come out of it than a little decidedly black, likely wholly inappropriate humor. Back to your regularly scheduled social media banter next week. Until then, please be only mildly offended.